Hands in the bucket if you can’t stand jeans shopping…*entire female population puts hand into imaginary bucket*. Am I right or am I right? (Before I continue my jeans rant, can I just say that at school, ‘hands in the bucket’ was a legit decision making system and I proper wish it was still a vibe in adulthood). Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so I’ll be honest, jeans shopping is probably the biggest ball ache of all time and if you’re carrying a lil junk in ya trunk then the experience can be even more dramatic. You aren’t alone in this one sister, here’s some genuine thoughts I have had when in the changing rooms –

  • ‘How short is short? So I’m 5ft 3, does that classify as a regular sized leg or not?’
  • ’I wonder how long I can stay in here writhing round on the floor, sweating like a pig with my thigh stuck in these jeans before the sales assistant gets suspicious and has to rescue me?’
  • ’I’m usually a 12 or 14 so I’ll try this 12 on first and see if it fits….oh great, nope.’ Wrong. Error. Ctrl alt delete that moment from your life because you may as well not have even tried. Cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve been stood in the changing rooms with a bum shelf (direct quote from the insanely fabulous Em Clarkson).

Changing rooms can bring on so much anxiety and for me, buying jeans is particularly stressful as denim is the least forgiving material in existence. I’d be lying if I said my confidence hasn’t been knocked but like the lovely Em says, it’s the jeans that are wrong, not you and that’s the type of mindset I am trying to get myself into whenever I go clothes shopping.

My advice for jeans shopping would be this, use Simon Cowell as your style icon. In fact, I tend to use this when buying most clothes if I’m honest. Why? Well, because if it sits below my belly button then cya later, you can sit back on the shelf. If I can yank it up to the under-wiring of my bra then hey presto, we have a winner! If you’re a mid size gal like me (or any gal for that matter), then I swear by high waisted jeans and Mr Cowell is the king of the high waisted trend. There’s so many gorgeous jeans you can buy that really flatter your figure. These pictured are my River Island jeans which I bought ages ago (therefore soz no link…oops) but they’re high waisted AND stretchy. What more could a gal want? New look is also a cracking place for jeans, I’ve got a pair of their Lift and Shape range jeans which are only £25 and they can turn your pancake ass into a bubble butt in no time! If skinny high waisted isn’t your jam, then Topshop Mom jeans are ideal and they’re always such good quality.

Let’s face it ladies, ‘jeans and a nice top’ is a wardrobe essential and if you’re not on board with the high waisted vibe like me and Simon then where have you been all this time?

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  • Chloe Osborn says:

    Haha this is the reason I avoid trying on jeans in shops, such a nightmare trying to squeeze in without ripping them or realising they just don’t look right! I can totally get on board with Simon Cowell’s style, the thought of low rise jeans makes me cringe now!

    • hannahshappyhour says:

      I know it is the worst isn’t it! Haha I’m the same I can’t stand anything low rise anymore! Xxx