Quick disclaimer before we start: I’m no relationship counsellor so don’t read that title and decide you’re gonna piss off for a few months for a laugh – that probably won’t go down well with your partner.

Throughout my life, I always seem to have been in relationships, most of which were fairly long-term. The odd periods that I have been single, I’ve felt a little lost, purely because I’ve not been used to it. Despite knowing that I’d feel this way, weirdly enough, I am a big advocate for having your own space in relationships. Andy, if you’re reading this – I’m not about to go all Ross and Rachel on you (WE WERE ON A BREAK!) … you’re safe for now hun, you lucky thing.

I’ve learnt a lot about myself from past relationships and feel like I’ve incorporated these new traits into my latest one. It’s lasted 6+ years so far so I must have done something right? In hindsight, previous relationships probably resembled more of a conjoined twin type scenario rather than boyfriend/girlfriend! With Andy, things are so much different and I feel comfortable knowing we can do our own things, without feeling jealous, lost or anxious. Here’s why I feel like space is such an important aspect for any relationship:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder:

I always find that when I go back to Liverpool for a weekend, or if I go away with the girls, coming back home to Andy just feels so great! (cringe). I’m not saying disappear every weekend, but I definitely do feel like absence makes the heart grow fonder. Especially if you’re like me and Andy who have a house together – going your separate ways the odd night or weekend here and there reminds you of that feeling of missing each others company.

Your pals aren’t the same as your partner:

I’d always class Andy as one of my best friends. He was a friend before boyfriend and I know I can tell him absolutely anything. HOWEVER, I feel like the relationship I have with my gal pals is completely different. They are my personal crisis hotline, my playsuit do-er up-er, my nandos partners, my cocktail sharers and my secret keepers! Read my blog post about girl gangs to see exactly what I mean.

Separate hobbies = more conversations:

If you’re sat with your partner and neither of you know what the hell to speak about then I think you need a different blog post to this one! What I’m referring to is that by living in each others pockets, you’re going to restrict what you talk about, as you were both there and clearly don’t need a de-brief. I love that me and Andy have different hobbies and go out without one another, I think it’s so important. As I type this, Andy’s gone on a 75 mile bike ride. I know where I’d rather be….

Separate hobbies = joint hobbies:

Nope, Andy isn’t going to become a blogger and you can sure as hell bet I am not going to become a professional athlete overnight. However, both of these hobbies (just 2 examples!) provide us with opportunities to explore new places together. Andy quite often comes back from his crazy exercise trips and says he’s seen the loveliest little village and wants to show me it. CUTIE!

Self care is not selfish:

Y’know what? Relationships are all about caring for one another but it is definitely not selfish to take a little time out to care for yourself. As a naturally negative Nancy, I’m really trying to put my positive pants on more often. Even if you only manage to do one thing per day that makes you happy, get it done and let those positive vibes flow!

As much as I’m all for a little bit of ‘me time’, I can’t lie – I’m a sucker for a little but of ‘us time’; snuggled in on the couch, watching a film on netflix and eating all the snaaaacks.

*Gifted print* from Dotty and Dash

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  • Epic Human says:

    Love this! Space is definitely so important!

  • Victoria says:

    Awww Hannah, what a beautiful blog post. I love everything about this and I agree with everything. Time apart is so important, like you say, gives yourself time to miss them. Cocktail date in the diary soon girl, can’t wait! xxx

  • While I think you are correct, and I would definitely tell my daughter’s this. My own life hasn’t ended up this way, instead me and my husband are literally with each other 24/7 and have been for 21yrs. Though not many could cope with that. He is my best friend, and we love hanging out, we go raving still to techno clubs,as well as being a couple doing romantic things. He is like my best girl pal, best boy pal, and husband all rolled into one

    • hannahshappyhour says:

      That’s really lovely though and everyone is different! I think if me and Andy were together 24/7 we would probably end up arguing more ha! He’s definitely my best friend though too xx

  • dax munro says:

    Hi Hannah, I loved this post. πŸ™‚

    My partner and I love our time together but our time apart is like our special reboot time. Whenever we come back together, we feel refreshed and intrigued to know what the other half has been up to. πŸ™‚

    Will be signing up to see what other gems you post. hope you have an awesome weekend,
    Dax. x

  • I think this is so important to remember in a relationship! I love doing things together, but sometimes it is nice to have an evening/day to yourself, absence definitely does make the heart grow fonder! Becca x

  • Elen Mai says:

    I totally agree with what you’re saying here! Space is completely invaluable within relationships – if you don’t have space then what can you possible talk about at the end of the day? Love the way you wrote this so honestly and based on your own personal experiences. xx
    El // Welsh Wanderer

  • Melis Living says:

    This is so lovely, Hannah! I agree about separate hobbies and having your own identity – I love blogging as it’s something completely for me but not us, and I love travelling with him so that’s something we do a lot together. It’s a nice balance. Love your blog! Melis

  • Kirstie says:

    I couldn’t agree more babe! Dan was in the army so used to go away a lot and I missed him so much but even when he was back we didn’t spend every moment together, and now he’s out we still don’t! He’s my best friend but we both love our own space! Plus his need to constantly watch rugby non stop for 9 months of the year drives me out the house and to the wine πŸ˜‚

    • hannahshappyhour says:

      Oh gosh I can’t imagine being an army wife! I’d probably struggle with that amount of space ha! Totally driven to the wine too every time sport comes on the TV ha xxx